Welcome Back Kotter: When the Squid Returns. Pt 2.

      As many deployments as we have dealt with there are still things that we haven't quite been able to figure out, like how do I stop picking fights with him right before he leaves. I know it's just because I miss him already. This time around, I am taking on a major issue, and from what I understand it's a widespread one. When my Big Squid gets home he doesn't know his place in our family. By that I mean, he doesn't know our routines or schedules. He doesn't know what he is responsible for and when to do it. So, he sort of does, well, not much at all.
      When I brought it up to him the last time, his response was that I have become so good at taking care of the family alone, there is nothing for him to do. My reaction to this..............BS! The more I thought about it though, the more I realized it wasn't complete BS. I don't even ask him to do things anymore. When our sink was leaking and I couldn't fix it I didn't ask him to fix it, I just called the housing office. I didn't do it intentionally, it was just habit, but his feelings were hurt and I could understand why.
      In order to fix this, my plan is as follows. (*Quick side note:* I'm sure most of you know that the military has classes for deployed family members to get tips on how to assimilate back into their families day to day life, but I'm not sure that is an option.) For the first couple of days, I'm not going to ask anything of him and I am going to have him just hang out and tag along with us. A friend of mine said that in the a fore mentioned class, it is suggested that this should go on for at least 2 weeks, but we don't always have that kind of time. After that we are going to sit down and come up with a list of things that will be his responsibility when he gets home. From then on, he'll know that those things are the things he'll take over upon return.
      I hope that doing these things will get us back into a groove we both are comfortable with. If anyone has any other ideas or tricks that work for them I'd love to hear them!