The Navy Wive's Alphabet

by Mrs. Jean Ebbert

A is for Adaptable, which is supposed to be my middle name. Also for Absent, which my hus-band is A lot, especially when the Anchor's Aweigh.
B is for Basic, as in Basic Allowance for Quarters and Basic Allowance for Subsistence. (See "L".)
C is for Cost of living which is always going up and for Commissary which I therefore I need more than ever
D is for Dependent, which is what the Navy says I am, even though everybody knows you can't survive Navy life unless you're extremely independent.
E is for Empty, which is what my wallet is at the End of Each pay period.
F if for Fabulous Foreign ports I hope he'll bring me back Fabulous bargains From.
G is for Government and Goldbraid and "Good Grief Charlie Brown, who in Washington thought that one up!"
H is for housing "on the economy," which so often seems (a) too small, (b) too expensive, (c) too close to the Base, (d) too far from Base, (c) all of the above.
I is for ID card on which my picture looks Idiotic,
J is for Jack of all trades, which it would be Just dandy if I were one.
K is for Kilometers and Knots, both of which Kinda Konfuse me.
L is for Lavish, which is what I wish allowances were, instead of Basic. (see "B".)
M is for Mail from the ship, which is sometimes a Maybe thing.
N is for mmmm - er - uh - (gosh, can't think of anything for this one.)
O is for Orders to Outer Transvania and Other places I never heard Of
P is for Personal Property lost and damaged in our last Permanent Change of Station, for which I will Positively be reimbursed (Perhaps).
Q is for Qualified, which I am getting to be at practically everything.
R is for his Return from deployment, which is Really Romantic.
S is for Starboard, which Sailors on Ships Say when they mean "right."
T is for Trips To The Tailor, when his uniform mysteriously Tightens across his Tummy.
U is for Unexpected changes in the ship's schedule, which I Understand are Unavoidable but which I'm often Unprepared for and so they Usually make me Upset, or even Uptight.
V is for Volunteer work, which I know is a Very fine thing, but sometimes I get too Vound up in it.
W is for Navy Wives, Who are Wonderful, Witty, Wise, Warm and Winsome. Whoever Would argue With this is no longer Welcome aboard.
X is for Navy X-change, which I am very glad
Y is for Yards and Yeoman and Yo-ho-ho-, all of which sound very nautical, don't You think?
Z is for ''zulu," which is what the Navy calls the last letter of the alphabet, which I think is a Zany thing to do

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